Valentine's Day in the Life of a Single Girl

So it's fast approaching... That day of hearts, and pink, and flowers, and chocolates. And I'm not sure how I feel.

I've never been one of those girls with dates lined up around the corner. In fact during my 26 years I've really only had two boyfriends (and no other dating experiences.) Boyfriend #1 started junior year of high school and ended when we went to separate colleges. We had fun, but I doubt either of us really thought it would work out. Boyfriend #2 did not arrive until senior year of college. Yes, those years between were difficult. Although they were filled with many friendships and fun, there was also a lot of unreciprocated crushing going on. And every year on Valentine's Day, when the message came that I had flowers to pick up I would begin to imagine that they might be from my current crush (even though I knew with 99% certainty that they were from my parents.) But that was okay. Flowers have some magical power to make me feel a certain peace and happiness. And at least I knew someone loved me. I mean not everyone's parents care enough to send flowers.

Then Boyfriend #2 came along. And I'm sure you'll hear more of him in future blogs, but for now I'll just say that we were together for 4 years. At the beginning, it was him chasing me, but in the end I was the one begging him not to leave. Our time together had its ups and downs, but I loved him in spite of his faults and thought he felt the same way. Well it turned out I was wrong. And I've been a single girl for the past 8 months.

8 months... That's a long time. Why haven't I moved on? Well, I have. At least some. I now know that we will never get back together. The haze that comes from being in love is gone, and I can see his faults. Memories of the little incidents that I had brushed off before have returned to remind me that this is for the best. And I've found hope in knowing that I don't have to settle...

Yes, I miss him sometimes. I miss the companionship. I miss the physical relationship. But he is replaceable. And someday that replacement will come. Although the word replacement won't give him justice, because he'll be so much better! And in the meantime I have my friends and family, and best of all I have myself. And I have time to find myself and learn to appreciate myself. Which is what I plan to do this year for Valentine's Day.